


Winter Walking

by sappylesbian



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: F/M, I have no idea why i wrote this, Masturbation, POV First Person, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 05:54:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5900839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sappylesbian/pseuds/sappylesbian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically what's being sung about in My Junk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Winter Walking

**Author's Note:**

> I chose this particular topic to write about mainly because I love how Spring Awakening shows that teenage girls are just as horny as boys, it's just less socially acceptable for us (both back in the 1890's and today). Also it was fun to write something short that's just first person of someone alone. 
> 
> (and also because this board needs more explicit fics with girls in them

I want to fall asleep, but I can't. I try, but I can't do it. My mind drifts to Melchior. Melchior.      

_In the midst of this nothing. This miss of a life.  
Still there's this one thing just to see you go by._

When Mama came in to say goodnight, my hands were clasped over the covers like a proper lady.

They aren’t anymore.

I know I shouldn't touch myself there, but it feels so good.

_It's almost like loving. Sad as that is._

_May not be cool, but it's so where I live._

Mama told me to never to touch myself; to abuse myself. She said it was sinful, and evil, and bad; but it doesn't feel bad. Not to me. Not when my hand sneaks down between my legs. I'm afraid and wonder what will happen if I don't stop. Could she come in and catch me?

Even if she doesn’t catch me, God will still see me and he will strike me down like He did to Onan. I need to stop. I need to stop.

But I can’t. 

 _I try and just kick it but then what can I do._  
We've all got our junk, and my junk is you.

My undergarments are lost somewhere in my bed. My nightgown is pulled up over my newly blossomed bosom. They feel warm to my touch and I like the feeling, but they're not as warm as the secret place between my legs where hair has been growing. I want to touch them and I do. My new breasts feel so good. My secret place feels good, too. Something different. Very different. Very nice.

A hand, yes, it's my hand sliding across my breast. But I pretend that it’s Melchior’s hand. It feels nice. My… His fingers squeeze my nipples. How did I learn how to do this? No one told me. A finger touches a place between my legs.  Yes, touch it more. A finger moves the place. It's not a place, it’s a thing. Something to touch. Something to move. Something very special. Yes.

_Well, you'll have to excuse me, I know it's so off.  
I love when you do stuff that's rude and so wrong._

My legs start to spread. My feet move back toward my backside. My knees raise the blanket. My back arches. My hands are on their own now.  I'm floating above myself in the dark watching something take over my body. Something I don't understand, but it seems kind, very strong and very interesting. Just like him.

_I lie back just drifting, and play out these scenes_

_I ride on the rush of all the hopes, all the dreams_

My back arches again. A sound sneaks out of my mouth. Almost a giggle. I can hear it. I hope Mama doesn’t. Hands moving. Head shaking back and forth.  Toes curling and trying to hold the sheet. What's happening and it better not stop. Yes, more, more, Melchior!

Rubbing myself feels so good. A touch at first, then I let the finger trail up and down my secret place. It wants to hide inside me, but I won’t let it. I will it to move back to that other place. Yes, rub, touch, more, more. 

_I may be neglecting the things I should do.  
But we've all got our junk, and my junk is you._

 My head moves in time with the fingers rubbing my breasts and touching the place between my legs. A sound starts inside my mind. The sound is made of orange light and it's moving toward my eyes. It flies through my body and touches my hands. I explode, an orange flash. What is? This. My body. I'm afraid. I like it and it keeps on and on. Yes, never stop, but then it does. I'm warm and can't move. My body slowly straightens out as I realize what I had just done.

I can’t stop myself from crying as I pray to God for forgiveness.

_They say you’ll go blind, and maybe it’s true_

_But we’ve all got our junk, and my junk is you._

 

I want to do it again.


End file.
